A few years ago, after my first experiences with Tantra in Bali, I decided to look for its roots.
One road leads through classical Hindu texts. Another leads through neo-Tantra, which Osho translated for many modern readers and practitioners. Beyond Hindu Tantra, sacred sexuality also appears in Taoist, shamanic and Egyptian traditions.
Then I did what I call trusting the universe. I released the question and sent out a simple intention: “Show me the teacher who can teach me Tantra.” I returned to ordinary life.
During a week in Istanbul, a new acquaintance mentioned a Kundalini Yoga ashram in Rishikesh while we were talking about India. The pieces came together immediately. Kundalini Yoga and Tantra belong to the same broad tradition, and my next step became clear.
I paid for a month in Rishikesh, almost without looking at my bank balance. The three-hundred-hour teacher training included accommodation and food and became one of the most remarkable months of my life.
Imagine becoming fascinated by a subject, searching for every book, film and conversation you can find, and then suddenly entering a month of intensive study with people who have devoted their lives to it.
I woke at 4:30 each morning for the first practice. One hundred of us sat together, recited mantras and received a ceremonial welcome onto the spiritual path through Indian puja and blessings.
Ten hours of daily classes followed. We learned pranayama, meditation, mantra and Hatha Yoga, then brought breath, sound and movement into one practice for body, mind and spirit.
My teachers had grown inside this culture and studied the Himalayan tradition throughout their lives. In beautiful, precise English, they explained complex ideas about the body, energy and chakras. They brought us towards the philosophy and ancient texts beneath modern yoga, and towards the Tantric meanings of masculine and feminine, solar and lunar, ha and tha, yin and yang.
At the end of the training, Guru Vishnu gave me a Shaktipat initiation into the Himalayan tradition. I met my Tantra teacher, Ma Hari Priya. When I asked her what Tantra was, she answered, “Expansion,” held me and let me cry.
Rishikesh holds people who seem to see your past, present and future by looking into your eyes. Practice has continued there for thousands of years, and descendants of those traditions now teach visitors like me.
After the ashram, I led my first Tantra events in Goa. I had gained a strong philosophical foundation and could also see how much practical experience I wanted in modern, adapted Tantra.
So I continued.
I meditated on life in Khajuraho, a Tantric city known for temples and erotic sculpture. In Varanasi, I meditated on death beside the funeral fires. At Osho’s ashram in Pune, I studied dynamic meditation.
I assisted at the Awaken as Love Tantra festival in Goa and met teachers from Mexico, the Netherlands, the United States and other parts of the world. I completed a six-month Tantra teacher training with Anastasia Hagras, the Russian-speaking teacher whose work created the strongest resonance in me.
When I arrived in Bali, an invitation came almost immediately to facilitate a Temple Night for an international Tantra community. Afterwards, the other facilitators welcomed me into their circle and recognised the depth of my work. Several people called my cacao ceremony the best they had experienced.
Back in Kazan, I began hosting my own events. People meeting Tantra for the first time left with tears and important realisations. Some said that a single evening had changed their life.
People who sense my energy began finding me. The same quality that once drew me towards my teachers now brought others towards me. It could happen through therapy, Tantra, cacao or a conversation. Someone read my writing, joined a group or booked an individual session because something inside pulled them closer.
I understand that pull because it once led me.
I feel grateful for a road where each stone appears when I can see only the next step. Tantra strengthens my intuition and trust. It brings more vitality, confidence, honest contact and willingness to be seen. All of this keeps unfolding.
I felt called towards India. A stranger mentioned an ashram, and I went. Friends invited me to Bali, and I listened. After an accident there, I understood that returning to Russia was my next move.
Seeing only the next step has become one of the principles I trust. My next step is to share the knowledge gathered along this Tantric path.
